You Make Me Feel
by Nekkun
Summary: Oz finds himself back in a place he never wanted to see again. The Will of the Abyss decides to play nice and grant his wish. Stupid decision, or not, his life will never be the same... R&R if you dare! OZ/GILBERT
1. Wish

Oz sat on the window seat, looking outside. Rain came from the sky in a torrent. Everything seemed to be masked by the downpour; the whole world was grey. He pressed his palm against the glass. Cold. He pressed harder, enjoying the feel of it on his hot skin. Tiny raindrops decorated the window; something simple like that could fascinate him if he were in the right mood. But he wasn't.

With a sigh, the blond swung his legs to the ground, wincing slightly as feeling returned to them. How long had he been sitting there? The antique clock in the corner of the room answered him with six bonging noises.

Since five o'clock, then. An hour. How dull.

He looked around the room, hoping to see something that would catch his interest. An embroidered carpet with knights on it; bookshelves full of ancient texts, a neat desk with nary a paper. This was supposed to be his room, but didn't feel like it. More like a guest room than anything resembling home.

Feeling like this...he shook his head, keeping the thoughts at bay. He was no longer the boy he had been; now a contractor, he had gone through a lot. Occupying himself for a few hours shouldn't be this difficult. Sharon had dragged a protesting Alice off on a shopping adventure. He wouldn't have minded tagging along, but Sharon insisted that the new clothes purchased for Alice should be a surprise for him. She smiled sweetly as she said it, but Oz had backed down right quick. There was no messing with that girl, lady of the mansion or not. As for Xerxes Break, Oz had no idea where was. Probably popping out from under people's beds somewhere and scaring them.

Oz was alone in the Rainsworth mansion, with the exception of some servants.

He wished his own servant were here.

If Gil walked in right now, he would immediately question why Oz had such a sour look on his face. However, he had gone out to shop for ingredients. Sometimes when he returned from these trips, Oz saw flecks of blood on the white of Gil's shirt. The spots were damp, as if he had tried to wash the evidence off in a hurry. Unless Gil killed animals himself, which was doubtful, there was no way getting food led to something like bloodstains.

Besides, if Oz asked, he had no doubt that Gil would tell him exactly what it was that he did. But Oz never said anything about it because he had a secret of his own. And, after coming from the Abyss to find himself ten years into the future, he doubted he could reveal it.

The opportunity for telling Gil had gone.

If only the coming of age ceremony hadn't been interrupted.

If only he could change things. Go back to their relationship pre-Abyss, and let Gil know how important he was to Oz. And then, after he returned from the Abyss this time around, there wouldn't be a secret to keep. That is, if Gil felt the way Oz hoped he did.

He always teased Gil about his fear of cats, amused by the expressions he would make. The Gil who blushed and cried so easily made Oz want to protect him. But now it was different. Gil was _Raven_ now, a man. Ten years of experience under his belt, along with gun skills. Someone like him didn't need a master any more, not really. In fact, Oz had been stunned when Gil had been so eager to return to how things had been before. Master and servant, their established roles. That was one of the things Oz loved about Gil; he was so loyal. He kept his promises.

Really, Oz was undeserving of someone like that.

He knew this. Gil probably felt weird about their situation too, but he never wanted to make Oz upset. That was one of the things Oz hated about Gil. His unwavering belief that Oz was a person who was worthy of such devotion made Oz feel ill. Because he wasn't. What had been so bad about his life? Did it really matter so much that his father had rejected him? Other kids went through the same thing without the support of a best friend like Gil. They made it out just fine without breaking down like he almost did.

Weak. Filthy. Oz believed these words described him perfectly.

He wanted too much without deserving any of it.

Back in the Abyss, he had accepted the fact that he would die there. Of course he had been scared, but a larger part of him had been relieved. Life with Uncle Oscar and Ada was fun; every day meant new games and adventure. Gil had always been by his side. They grew up together. But despite those happy times, Oz felt that he was destined to leave this bright path. Shadows had already crossed it, after all.

He didn't want to drag everyone else into ruin.

The Abyss had been where he would repent for his sin: his existence.

Acceptance of his fate had come without much fuss.

And then Alice had saved him; life continued on.

Oz's palms hurt suddenly. He brought his hands up to his face and saw crescent cuts in the flesh. He had been digging his nails into them, one of his habits. How stupid. But at least hurting himself was something that he could deal with easily.

Fifteen more minutes had passed on the clock.

He stared at it, suddenly finding it fascinating. A structure made out of gold and glass...it was beautiful. Liking clocks after all the bad things they represented was strange, but he didn't mind. Oz took a step towards it, feeling slightly dazed.

Was it a trick of the light, or had the minute hand really begun to move _backwards_?

He heard a familiar tune, but couldn't remember where the melody had met his ears before. Everything began to blur around the edges. Falling to the carpet, he managed to hold himself up with his hands and knees.

A sharp pain seared beneath his collarbone; he thought he screamed, but wasn't sure. The music seemed too loud; he felt something warm trickle down the sides of his face. He pressed his hands over his ears to block out the noise. All the while, it felt as if someone were carving a knife into his chest. Oh, the pain was unbearable, he couldn't stand one more moment of it—

"Oz?" a frantic voice called. "_Oz_!"

He hurt too much to answer Gil.

There was a white flash and silence fell upon him.

Oz remained curled up in the fetal position. Heart thudding in his chest, he focused on taking deep breaths. A dull ache was all that remained of his chest pain; the seal had moved again, he realized, able to think more rationally. And the noise had stopped, that was a good thing. He stiffened, feeling something drying on the sides of his face.

He looked at his hands again and saw they were bloody.

The racket had done quite a job on his eardrums.

Being deaf was just perfect. He and Break could be a disabled pair

Oz rolled onto his back, eyes closed, and waited for Gil to force him to explain what had happened.

"I'm so happy that you finally came!"

His eyes flew open at the girlish voice.

One, he wasn't deaf after all. Two, that wasn't Gil.

All he could think was how much the girl leaning over him, a smile on her face, looked like Alice. Everything about her, aside from the snow white hair and clothing, was the same. Although there was an expression in her eyes that made him uncomfortable.

She looked desperate, despite her obvious attempt at being pleasant.

This had to be the Will of the Abyss.

Alice's psychotic twin, the girl who had removed Break's eye.

"I'm so happy!" she repeated, offering an outstretched hand. "Oh, Jack, I've been waiting for such a long time. I knew Vincent lied! You're not dead! You're really not!"

He took her hand and she pulled him up with graceful ease.

"I don't know how to say this, but I'm not Jack."

She blinked her long eyelashes at him. "What are you saying? Of course you are!" She clapped her hands together in delight. "You're Jack, and I'm Alice! Oh, I can't believe it's really you!"

Oz glanced around his new location, wondering whether this was a dream. He couldn't be back in the Abyss. How was that even possible? But the Will had been described as the most powerful being there, so maybe she had found a way to drag him into its depths while the seal on his chest moved...

"We'll always be together!"

She grabbed him by the hands and kissed his bloody palms.

He winced despite himself, but she didn't appear to notice.

"Just you and me, without her!" She exclaimed, while all the dolls surrounding them began chattering excitedly. "What shall we do first?"

"I'm sorry." Oz removed himself from her grip. "But I can't stay."

"You always left so early back at the tower! We never got enough time together." She tilted her head, white locks falling over her shoulder in waves. "Why would you say something like that?"

He didn't know whether she really believed he was Jack, or whether she was trying to trick him. Either way, he didn't want to be there for much longer. He wanted to return to Gil, even if it meant the ten year difference being intact. He wanted to see his Alice, with her haughty nature and love of meat. Break calling him a creepy kid would be fine. Even being bored, even wallowing in self-pity, seemed appealing now.

"Please, I need to go," he said. "I'll come back."

"But you just got here!" She twirled in a circle. "I sensed that you were looking for me, so I did my best to bring you where you wanted to be. And here you are."

"I didn't want to come here."

She looked at him over her shoulder. "Of course you did. You want to change the past. That's how we managed to find one another."

Oz stared at her. He did want to go back to the coming of age ceremony and tell Gil how he felt, but that was just wishful thinking. Something like that couldn't really happen. But then, Break had managed to do it.

And that hadn't exactly turned out well.

But...

"Could you?" he asked. "Change the past so that Gil and I—"

She was looking down, stroking a plush rabbit's head. At his words she stiffened, and when her eyes met his, he took a step back.

They were infuriated.

"You imposter!"

The chattering of the dolls increased, and Oz dodged one that lunged for his foot.

"You're not Jack! Jack wouldn't want to change the past! He would stay with me!"

"But I told you that—"

"Get of my room!" she screeched, throwing the rabbit at him. "You had no permission to come in here!"

There was no exit; crazily patterned walls were all that surrounded them. He was trapped here. Something stirred in the corner; Oz thought that it was just another doll, but a cat boy popped his head out. His heart thudded in his chest; Cheshire's body was mangled, and his one good eye—Break's eye—didn't seem to focus properly.

"What's wrong, Alice?" he asked, voice low.

"Cheshire, there's a stranger here!" She suddenly burst into sobs. "I'm _scared_!"

"Cheshire will tear you limb from limb!" he hissed, struggling in a futile attempt to escape his nest of dolls. "No one makes Alice cry!"

"Help me!" she wailed, falling to her knees, tears dripping down her face. "_Cheshire_!"

Oz watched, horrified, at the scene before him: an insane girl having a breakdown and her gravely injured cat boy trying his best to move, but being unable to do more than thrash around. The dolls squealed loudly, and his wounded ears rebelled against this.

He clapped his hands over his ears and shouted as loudly as he could:

"Go ahead and do it! Kill me!"

The Will of the Abyss looked right at him, and he forced himself to maintain eye contact. Her tears stopped as if a switch had been flicked. She got to her feet and wiped at her tearstained face, taking dainty steps toward him.

Her gaze travelled down to where his seal was concealed by his clothes.

She struck him there with her nails and black spots flashed before his eyes.

"Next time, don't pretend to be Jack." She giggled, as if nothing had happened. "But since you do resemble him, I shall grant your request."

That was the last thing he heard before he sunk into unconsciousness.

"Hey!"

Someone was calling out to him. Someone familiar...the tone full of anxiety.

It took great effort, but he managed to open his eyes.

A man with tousled dark hair looked down at him, golden eyes full of worry. Oz smiled at him, unable to remember a time when Gil's face had ever been better to look at. It dawned on him that the whole Will of the Abyss adventure been a dream; he had merely passed out due to the seal's rotation, and...

Wait. The room was the same as it had been, except for the carpet. It was plain beige, and there were no knights to be seen. Oz swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. This couldn't be; it had always been like that, and he had imagined the knight pattern. Right?

"I'm so glad you're okay, Oz." Gil sighed. "Had me worried there."

He blinked. Nothing had changed, since Gil seemed normal enough.

But he had to be sure.

"Gil, was the carpet different be—"

Gil cut him off by laughing.

"Now, Oz! What have I told you about calling me by such a familiar name?" He flicked Oz's forehead. "I'm Master, or Raven to you. Remember that!"

"M...master?"

"That's right."

Oz grinned weakly, but he had a sneaking suspicion that something wasn't right at all.

* * *

_A/N: I don't even know what the hell this is. I think I was smoking something illegal when I wrote this. Dx Want me to continue? The likelihood of that is very slim...but maybe I will if you can convince me. I was supposed to write a straightforward Oz/Gil fic and it turned into this...AU nonsense? I DON'T KNOW. I'm sorry. ;___; _


	2. Secret

The man who called himself Oz's master straightened up and offered him a hand. Oz accepted it and staggered slightly when on his feet. Gil steadied him. This all felt perfectly natural when they weren't talking. Gil still wore his long black coat, looking exactly as he had before. But...

Oz glanced down at himself and did a double take.

These weren't his clothes; in fact, the blue sailor outfit looked suspiciously like the fourteen year old Gil's had. He even wore the knee high black boots. Oz stared, growing increasingly itchy by the second. These clothes were so tight; it was as if they hadn't even been tailored to fit him. Then again, that was probably true, since he was now a servant.

"You don't look well," Gil said. "Is something wrong?"

"Where are we?"

Golden eyes narrowed. "The Nightray mansion, of course."

"Of course." Oz agreed with a bright smile. "I was just teasing you."

"Something's different about you, Oz."

The blond rubbed the seal on his chest, hidden beneath his new shirt, to buy time. It was still a little sore. Besides, he had no idea how to respond to that comment. Of course he was different, since he had never been in the role of servant before. Well, Alice considered him her manservant, but that was just the way she perceived things.

"What would that be, Gil?"

"_Master_," Gil insisted. "Don't forget your place."

Oz looked at Gil. Nostalgia swelled in his chest at the sight; the man appeared bewildered. Even as a master, his hair was mussed. His clothes wrinkled, as if he had tossed them to the floor. The Oz who had been his servant before he had arrived from the Abyss must have not been very competent.

"What am I supposed to be like, Gil?" At his stricken expression Oz hastily corrected himself. "Master, that is."

"You've always had fainting spells and I took care of you more than a master should. Embarrassment was your middle name. You never called me Gil, not even once." His voice grew lower. "Not even when I gave you permission to do so!"

"People change."

"Not so drastically!" Gil ran a hand through his hair, making it stick out at weird angles even more. "This morning you were yourself. Vincent joined us for breakfast and you didn't say a word the whole time, since you're terrified of him."

"Vincent isn't so bad," Oz said.

"I'll have to take you to the doctor," Gil said, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him out of the room. "He'll prescribe some medicine. Fix you."

Oz stumbled after him. "Can't you accept me like this? You wanted to be called Gil, and I'm calling you that now."

"I retracted that offer already!" Gil snapped as they practically ran downstairs. "I don't know what I was thinking then. You're just a servant, Oz, nothing more. Vincent was right."

He wanted to protest, but all his anger fizzled out almost immediately. This was all his fault for trying to bargain with the Will of the Abyss. She would never grant someone's wish without distorting it. Break had been lucky. For the most part what he wanted had come true. But she had some sort of grudge against Oz's resemblance to Jack, so she completely twisted his request around.

And now he was in some strange universe where Gil was his master.

Where they weren't even friends.

How could he ever have wanted to leave _his_ Gil?

By being greedy and wanting more than friendship, he had lost everything.

"Xerxes, I have a major problem!"

Oz blinked. It couldn't be. But it was true. They were in a room full of vials and strange equipment. The strangest thing was that Break, in a white overcoat, sat on an examination table, swinging his legs. He was grinning at Gil.

"Now, now, Raven. Let's not over exaggerate, shall we?"

Gil shoved Oz towards him. "My servant's had a sudden change in personality. Must have hit his head when he fainted. You're the best doctor in all the districts, so do something about it, please."

Break raised an eyebrow. "Paying me compliments now? How nice."

"Just do something!"

"Don't lose your cool just because of some brat." Break reached into a nearby jar and pulled out a sweet. "If this one's broken, get another. Simple as that."

"I don't have the time to teach a new servant about life here."

"Oh?" Break crunched the candy, a smile on his lips. "I wasn't aware that you did anything of importance. The life of a noble is full of leisure, is it not? Now, Sharon, there's a young lady who knows how to play the game of politics."

"If you like Lady Sharon so much, go back to the Rainsworth mansion!"

"You know I can't do that, Raven." He glanced at Oz for the first time, and his smile grew wider. "What's this? The brat doesn't seem scared at all. Hm, anger might be a better word for the look he has on that uncute face of his. Perhaps he _has_ changed."

"That's correct," Oz said. "I have, and I hope you will accept that."

"Speaking without being spoken to? My, my, Raven. Lost all control of this one."

"Xerxes—!"

"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do. The mind is a complex thing. It's not like I can give him vitamins to turn him back into the whiny child he was." Break shrugged, lying down on the cot and closing his one good eye. "Get rid of him or deal with him."

Oz turned to see Gil looking positively _shattered_.

"G—Master, are you all right?"

"Yes." Gil didn't look at him, but kept his gaze on Break. "Thank you for your time."

"You're welcome, Raven," Break said through a mouthful of candy. "Come visit again, if you feel so inclined. It's funny how little we see of each other even though we live in the same house!"

"Let's go," Gilbert muttered, walking out.

Oz followed on his heels, unable to get Gilbert's earlier expression out of his mind. What had he been reacting to? The thought of getting rid of his servant, or the thought that Oz was no longer the boy he had known? Maybe it was both. In any case, Oz knew how he felt.

Pain from the seal didn't compare to how much he missed his old Gil right now.

"Are you going to replace me?" Oz asked suddenly, only able to do so because he was facing Gil's back. The question was easier to ask that way. "Since I'm different."

"No."

"Why?"

"I'm not used to all these questions. Please refrain from them for a while."

Oz nodded before realizing Gilbert couldn't see him. He followed the taller man through the mansion, and with every step, realized that objects had been moved, colors changed, and furniture altered. Everything had been changed ever so slightly, which was worse than if it were completely different.

This near replica of home just made him yearn for his past even more.

Gilbert stopped in front of a door without any warning and Oz walked into him.

The smell of cigarettes on Gil's jacket made him smile.

This, at least, was the same.

Gil sighed, turning to face him. "I see you're still not as careful as you should be. But that's all right. Now, I'd like to go to bed."

Oz couldn't resist such a golden opportunity.

"Go to bed?" He blinked innocently. "How _scandalous_. But if Master says so..."

"N-not together," he stammered, looking around the empty corridor. "I-I...w-what...Oz...!"

He pouted, enjoying this immensely. "All right, Master. Have a restful sleep."

"W-where do you think you're going?"

"To my room," Oz said. "Unless you changed your—"

"You have many duties to perform, remember?" Gil said, attempting to keep his voice level. "Don't tell me this multiple personality disorder and amnesia go hand in hand! The ball is coming up and you're the only one I can count on to make it run smoothly."

"Ball?"

Gil was already halfway into his room. "Go ask Ada!"

"Ada lives here?"

"I wouldn't save one sibling from the streets and not the other," Gilbert said through a crack in the door. "Family is important." A shadow crossed his face as he spoke but it vanished almost immediately. "Well, then. Good night."

Oz grinned at him. "Sweet dreams, master."

The door slammed shut with a lot more force than was necessary. Oz's grin faded quickly. All this was teasing, true, but he really wouldn't have minded if Gil had invited him to his room. Perhaps this was further evidence of his filthiness, wanting to be with an older man, but he couldn't help it.

Even though this Gil was now his master, he couldn't really separate him from the idea of Gil he had in his mind. All Oz knew was that he was in love with Gil. As for his servant/master's feelings, Oz had no idea. Loyalty and love were two different things, weren't they?

But he couldn't think about their relationship now. He had to be a good servant.

He wandered back down the hall, not sure how to go about finding Ada. This place had the same layout and everything, but she had gone to school at Latowidge. Besides, he had no idea what age she would be. His younger sister? His surprisingly well endowed older sister?

"You look lost," a soft voice commented. "Not that it is unusual for you, Oz."

"Echo!"

The petite girl gave him a small bow. "Master Vincent heard from Break that there is something different about you. I am here to check if this is true." She peered at him closely, before nodding once. "Yes, I can see it clearly."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I am not sure." She stared down the hallway. "Master Vincent is worried about his brother. He does not want him to get hurt. They already have problems in their family. Master Raven's mental state is—"

"My master is fine," Oz said, unable to handle the thought of something being wrong with Gil. "And I haven't really changed at all."

"If you say so." She clasped her hands together. "If you will excuse me."

"Where's Ada?"

"I believe she is in Master Eliot's room."

"What?" Oz couldn't hide his shock. "Wait, how many masters are there?"

"Three. They are brothers, so it is only natural."

"Right." Oz tried not to think about the implications of this too much. "Where is Eliot's room again?"

"Master Eliot's room is the fourth room in the left wing of the third floor." She paused. "Were you instructed to speak with her? I am sure you know how Eliot feels about you."

"Master said something about a ball?" Oz asked. "Maybe you could tell me what I need to do, so I won't disturb them."

He knew he was being a coward, but he really didn't want to face Eliot or Ada. Especially if they were dating; the thought of his sweet sister with that jerk who ruined the ending of novels made his skin crawl.

"I am sorry, but Master Raven is in charge of that," Echo said. "All the masters have their own personal servants, if you recall. Things between them are kept secret at times. It is strange that you do not remember this, Oz."

He couldn't help but think of the secret he wanted to have with Gil as she spoke.

All Oz could do in response to her comment was shrug, before he thanked her and headed up the spiral staircase. His feet felt as if they were made of lead. This parallel universe deal wasn't quite working for him. Did everyone he had ever met before he had made his wish live in the Nightray mansion? It sure seemed like it. And all their personalities were fairly unchanged, but something was a little off about everyone.

"Fourth room," Oz muttered, "fourth room..."

"Oz!"

A body slammed into him full force, and Oz managed to keep himself upright. Ada, the older, teenage Ada, clung to him. He patted her back, feeling a little awkward. She pulled away and smiled, looking very pretty in a pale green gown which matched her eyes.

"What did I do to deserve such a warm greeting?"

She giggled. "Oh, Oz! You're my favorite brother, so I'm always happy to see you!"

"I'm your only brother."

"Details, details!"

"What brings you here?" Eliot stuck his head out of a room to glare at Oz. "In case you forgot, my servant's in charge of this floor. You and that idiot brother of mine are on the second. Got that, Vessalius?"

"Servant?" Oz looked back and forth at them. "Ada's not—"

"Oh, Oz! You're so protective of me, even though that should be my job!" she squealed, wrapping him in another hug. "How cute!"

Eliot grimaced. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to speak with Ada about the ball."

"Raven and his ridiculous ideas." Eliot rubbed his temples. "He's been planning that thing for months and I still have no idea about the details."

Ada whirled from Oz and took Eliot's arm in hers.

"I'd tell you if I could! But Oz's master swore me to secrecy."

Oz stared at this, unable to register the fact that Eliot didn't shake her off.

God, it was true...

"What are you looking at, Vessalius?" Eliot glowered at him. "You can't have a problem with us, since you're doing the same thing." He smirked at Oz's widened eyes. "Yeah, I saw it."

"Saw what?" Ada chirped.

Okay, so maybe the previous Oz had been a little naughty with his master.

His heart thudded in his chest. He didn't know what to make of this.

"Never mind," Oz heard himself say. "I'll ask later."

He made it to his room just in time before collapsing onto the floor, a mirror image of his first appearance in this new world. But he was fully conscious this time, and couldn't stop the thoughts from dancing in his brain.

Gil's shock at his suggestion of sleeping together earlier had been an act.

In this world, they had been lovers.

* * *

_A/N: Omfg this is the hardest story to write, I swear. ;__; And this chapter focused on a whole bunch of characters, just because it had to. I mean, Oz/Gil angst can't keep a whole story together! There needs to be some plot, eh? But don't worry, those two will get more screentime. If I can manage to write more, since I am still iffy about this whole thing. Plus I have another idea involving these two, heh. Reviews give me the willpower to write, so if you want more, don't be afraid to let me know! Thanks to everyone who has read this story so far. You guys are too awesome. (:_


	3. Hurt

Sleep came quickly; Oz thought that he would be awake all night after what Eliot had mentioned. However, fatigue overshadowed thoughts of what he had been up to with Gil in this parallel dimension. The first day in this new world, in his new role as a servant, had taken a toll on him. Somehow, he had picked himself up off the floor and crawled into bed. He was a Vessalius, not a dog. His last thought was that he had made a horrible mistake.

Anyone who dabbled in the dark magic of the Abyss was a fool.

His sleep was dark, dreamless, restless.

Something creaked. The noise was enough to rip him from unconsciousness. Oz sighed, rubbing his cheek against a pillow. Sunlight warmed his skin. Morning already. He didn't want to face the day just yet. His chest still ached slightly from the seal's rotation. Going out and hunting down illegal contractors didn't seem to be like a good idea at the moment.

He sighed again when he remembered his unfortunate wish.

Okay, so he would be doing laundry and running errands instead of fighting.

That couldn't be so bad.

"Hey, boy!"

His eyes flew open at the lilting voice. A girl in her late teens stood at the door, a smirk on her lips. Thigh high stockings peeked out from below a red skirt. Her pink hair was tied into a high ponytail.

She held a whip in her right hand.

"_Lotti_?" Oz propped himself into a sitting position. "What are you doing here?"

"I swear you get dumber every day, boy." She placed a hand on her hip. "I live here. And you've broken the rules."

He sat up, glad he hadn't bothered to undress last night.

Lotti tended to be rather excessive with the physical contact.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, that's right. You've changed, or so rumour has it." She stroked the whip's handle lovingly. "I've always been waiting for the day you'd mess up. Perfect servants don't exist after all. Time to see what kind of face you'll make when I punish you!"

Oz laughed. "You can't be serious."

"Oh?" Her smirk reappeared. "I think I like this new feistiness of yours."

"Glad you approve. Now, I need to find Gil..."

"Gil?" she repeated. "That's adorable. The man treats you like his dog and you still find it in you to use a nickname so fondly."

"Master treats me well."

"I'll try my best to be as gentle as he is, then. Now, hurry up, boy!"

He got to his feet, stretching his arms towards the ceiling. It was easy to maintain this nonchalant facade. Oz had been hiding his true feelings his whole life, after all. But the sight of the whip made him uneasy. Lotti's delight as she fondled it, eyes glued to him, made him even uneasier. One of the brothers had decided to make her head servant and it was obvious who that was.

"What am I being punished for?"

"God, memory loss must be a pain in the ass." She began walking around him in a slow circle, teasingly trailing the whip along his back. "Every morning you're suppose to wake up at seven and help the cook prepare for breakfast. It's now eight. Make sense, boy?"

"Being whipped seems extreme for something like that."

Oz remained still as she rested her elbows on his shoulders.

"It's only ten lashes, boy." Her lips brushed the back of his neck. "It'll be over before you know it."

He wanted to step away from her, but Lotti's elbows were still planted firmly on him. Oz had a feeling that moving would displease her quite a bit. So he tried to control his breathing as her tongue flicked against his skin lazily, like a serpent's.

"Good. It seems you remember this little game we play."

He didn't respond, hating the other Oz for allowing her to do this to him.

But that was hypocritical. As a servant with no power he had no choice.

She giggled softly, before snaking a hand around to his stomach. Oz's heart dropped like a stone. He hadn't thought she would do anything below the waist, but this girl clearly didn't want to waste any time. Her hand crept further south and he shuddered when it brushed just above his...

The door swung open. Both their heads snapped up as Vincent strode into the room. If Oz had been the blushing type, his face would be crimson by now. But he forced his humiliation into the darkest corner of his mind. It took him a moment to realize that Lotti no longer draped herself all over him.

"Good morning, Master Vincent." Lotti nodded at the man with heterochromatic eyes, whip held tenderly between her breasts. "I'm here to discipline Vessalius, as instructed when a servant fails to fulfill their duty."

Vincent smiled at her. "Is that what you were doing, Miss Lotti? I thought something completely different when I saw you two."

"Vessalius here tried to seduce me into letting him get off free."

"I see." He turned to Oz. "Is this true?"

The pink haired girl gave him a cool smile. From the looks on both their faces, Vincent's bemused and Lotti's triumphant, Oz had the feeling he had been caught "seducing" females in the Nightray house before. He couldn't let something like this continue to take place. That would be madness.

He took a breath. "She's lying."

"What?" Lotti gasped. "You've just earned yourself another ten lashes, boy!"

She raised the whip, as if to punish him then and there, but Vincent laughed. Lotti hesitated, confusion creeping into her eyes. The sound of Vincent's laughter was the only thing in the room.

Maybe getting whipped would have been easier than listening to this maniac.

"How interesting! My dear Echo's report was most accurate indeed," he said after managing to regain his composure. "I never thought I'd see the day when you'd stand up to anyone!"

"M-master Vincent!" Lotti broke in, "don't tell me you're actually going to—"

"Silence, Miss Lotti. You're just a servant girl yourself." He smiled at her in the most frightening manner Oz had ever seen. "I wouldn't recommend getting a swelled head about what you can and can't do in this household."

She looked as if she wanted to argue, but crossed her arms instead. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the whip. Somehow, this situation had worked out. Who knew that it would be Vincent the sociopath that would save the day?

Oz glanced toward the door, fully expecting to see Gil walk in next.

"Pay attention, Vessalius," Vincent instructed. "I have something I'd like to speak with you about." He gestured in Lotti's direction. "You may leave now. I believe my brother's young mistress needs to receive a warning."

Lotti perked up. "Right away!"

"Wait." It dawned on Oz just as Lotti left the room. "You don't mean...Ada?"

"Of course."

Vincent guided Oz into the only chair in the room and ordered him to sit down. He couldn't believe this. What was going on in this mansion? The thought of Lotti going anywhere near his sister made his blood boil.

"What is going to happen to Ada?" he asked, trying to sound calm. "If she is the scapegoat for my failure, I'd rather be punished myself."

"Your sister rushes through her duties in order to spend more time with Eliot. It's a shame, really. She's such a sweet girl."

"I won't let Lotti do anything to her!"

"That's none of your concern."

Oz was halfway to his feet, ready to go rescue Ada, when something struck him hard. He collapsed back into the chair, raising a hand to his face. Vincent smiled down at him as if nothing had happened. Oz's cheek smarted beneath his fingers.

"First things first. How much have you forgotten about life here?"

Oz refused to answer. He wouldn't give this bastard the satisfaction.

"Speak when you're spoken to." Vincent smile never wavered. "Acting like a spoiled brat won't do you or anyone else any favors."

Ada's smiling face...how easy it was to make her giggle...how happy she was with Eliot...

Maybe if he went along with Vincent she would be treated better.

Not that Vincent could stop Lotti from hurting her this time, but...

Another slap, this time on the opposite cheek. Oz's couldn't help from inhaling sharply as pain bloomed where Vincent had hit him. Well, the middle Nightray brother was certainly slap happy. Oz gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to punch him in his ridiculously smug face. And he was a person who hated violence at any cost.

"I don't remember anything."

"If you're lying to me..."

Oz cringed despite himself, fully expecting Vincent to put his hands to work again.

Vincent laughed, a low dark sound. "That's the way you should be. I'm pleased. It seems you will relearn everything quickly enough." He paused, seeming to choose his next words carefully. "How is my brother dealing with this?"

"Eliot or G—Raven?"

"Raven."

Oz knew Vincent had let him off easily with that one. They both knew that he had been referring to Gil, who was his master, after all. But Oz couldn't find it in himself to take Vincent's abuse lying down.

"He wasn't too upset or anything," Oz said.

"You're wrong. I think my dear Gilbert is very upset about your sudden change."

"_You _sound happy about it."

"Very perceptive." Vincent raised his eyebrows. "And you would know why if you remembered all the trouble you caused in the past. Now that your mind's been wiped clean by some strange act of fate, my life will be much more satisfying." He sighed. "Of course, I'll need to convince Gilbert that this is a good thing."

Oz stared down at his navy blue pants, suddenly all too aware that he and Gil were more than master and servant. Or at least had been until now. He wondered if Vincent knew the same thing Eliot did. By the way Vincent looked at him as if her were a rotten apple someone forgot to throw away, he guessed the older man did.

That worried him.

His other life called to him from far away.

If he could go to the Abyss again and undo all of this...

"It's funny," Vincent said. "He wanted nothing to do with you before yesterday."

"We're friends."

The words just flew out of his mouth. When they had been children, other noble families made fun of Gil and called him an object. Oz corrected them, firmly stating that Gil was his friend, not slave. Because they _were_ friends. Best friends. Oz was proud of Gil and he had wanted to let everyone know it.

But the look on Vincent's face made his blood freeze.

It was too late to take the words back.

"Don't make me laugh." Vincent wrenched Oz to his feet, causing him to cry out in pain as something slipped in his shoulder socket. "My brother may be a little soft, but he knows as well as I do that you are just a servant. Say it."

"I..." Oz's throat seemed to be made of sandpaper. "I'm just a servant."

"A worthless, good for nothing piece of trash who is lucky to have such a kind master."

"A worthless, good for nothing..." Oz's wounded shoulder made it hard for him to think properly. "Piece of...piece of..."

"What are you doing here, Vincent?"

Oz thought it was a hallucination, but Gil was actually there.

The raven haired man looked back and forth between them. Oz made an effort not to hold his shoulder and give away how much it hurt. Instead, he simply smiled and waited to be spoken to, like a good servant should.

"Gilbert!"

Vincent practically glided over to where Gil stood and wrapped him in a hug. He was quickly pushed aside but that didn't dim his enthusiasm one bit. The way he looked at Gil, like he was the sun, made Oz sick to his stomach.

How could a person do such a 180, from violent to loving? A sane person certainly couldn't.

"Ah, you're in a bad mood today!" Vincent pouted. "Don't worry, big brother, your servant is doing fine. I just came here to stop Lotti from going overboard. She was trying to scare him, poor thing. I told her punishment after memory loss wasn't fair. "

"I'm glad you managed to stop her."

"Yes, we wouldn't want Oz to suffer after the changes he's been through!"

Gil looked in his direction; Oz could not maintain eye contact for the life of him.

"Something's off about the way he's standing."

"You're seeing things!" Vincent attempted to embrace him again but Gil held him at arm's length. "You're fine, right Oz?"

"Yes, Master Vincent."

"See?" Vincent beamed. "Now, let's go have breakfast, okay?"

"I have something I need to do."

Gilbert walked over to Oz and placed a hand on his shoulder. It was the sore one, where Vincent had nearly yanked his arm off, but to his surprise Oz didn't feel a thing. Gil's gloved touch was softer than a swan's feather.

"Oz is coming with me."

He hid a smile at the way Vincent's mouth dropped open.

Strangely, he didn't hurt at all anymore. Gilbert steered him out of the room after a quick goodbye to his brother. This touching didn't seem to be necessary, as far as Oz could tell. Could it be that Gil did it just because he wanted to?

"I'm sorry about Lotti."

"She didn't do anything," Oz said.

Just a little white lie.

"And Vincent?" Gil asked, adding hastily, "he didn't do anything weird?"

"He's always weird."

"It's just that...before...never mind!"

"Hey Gil," Oz looked up at him as they left the mansion. "You're so cute."

"It's Master!" Gilbert blurted out. "And don't refer to me in such girly terms!"

"I wouldn't if you didn't like it."

"_What_?"

Gilbert seemed to realize he had been holding on to Oz for much too long and released him. But it was obvious from the way he looked around that he was worried about people having seen him leading Oz around rather than the actual fact that he had _touched_ Oz. And that made Oz smile.

He wondered how much longer Gil could keep up this act.

Maybe he would have to confront him.

That might be fun.

* * *

_A/N: Oh look, even less Oz/Gil than the previous chapter! And it was equally as hard to write. But challenges enrich the mind and all that jazz...also, plot is established in these kinds of chapters. I hope this made sense. Also, I love writing about the other characters almost as much as I love the whole Oz/Gil relationship. And next chapter will have development in the romance department. I know some people read this just for ~the good stuff~, hahaha. Be patient. ;D Thanks for the reviews! *high fives everyone* Please continue reading!_


	4. Close

They entered a waiting carriage outside the gates. This would probably be a little awkward, since the space was so confined. Oz was about to sit opposite Gil, like he normally did, but the sour expression on Gil's face made him hesitate. Oz shot him a curious look; he immediately averted his golden eyes to stare at the window.

"What's wrong, G—Master?"

"Nothing," came the curt response.

Oz smiled to himself. Gil had always been on the grouchy side.

"Hey, Master?"

"Yes?"

"If you want me to sit beside you, just say so!"

"_What_?"

"Don't tell me you're really surprised." Oz decided to take the plunge. "I may not remember some things, but I heard this and that, so..."

Gil jerked away from the window to glare at him.

"Sit down and shut up!"

"But—"

There was no time for Oz to protest, as the carriage lurched into motion. The concept of gravity hadn't changed. There was nothing he could do to stop himself from falling. And since there wasn't anything for him to grab onto except for Gil, he had to make do. Toppling into his master's lap was the least of his problems.

Oz got a faceful of Gil's smoky jacket.

That had to be better than bashing his skull open elsewhere in the death trap carriage.

"Your driver needs more lessons," Oz mumbled into Gil's chest. "I could've died."

"Seriously?" Gil's attempt at sounding calm didn't quite work. "If you're hurt, I—"

He glanced up at Gil, whose obvious concern made him happy all over.

"I'm okay." He smiled the smile he only reserved for Gil. "Since Master was here to save me. Thanks."

Gil grew pink. "There's really something different about you."

"We've been through this before."

"It's difficult to understand," Gil snapped. "Anyway, stop reading those trashy romance novels! If you say something sappy like that again I'll drop you off in the middle of nowhere."

"Are you confusing me with Sharon?"

"You're the furthest thing from a lady!"

"I hope that's a good thing." Oz continued to smile. "Since we're, well..."

"We're not anything besides master and servant." Gil seemed to struggle with the words. "All this...this..._suggestiveness _is really brazen of you! I have no idea what I did to deserve this..."

Everything he said didn't quite get deciphered by Oz's brain. Sure he heard him, but he was distracted by how cute his master was. How warm it felt to be sitting in Gil's lap, how nostalgic the smell of cigarettes was. Before he could stop himself, he had reached up and taken off Gil's hat, laying it beside him. All the better to stroke a few locks of Gil's perpetually messy hair.

That silenced his rambling protests quickly enough.

"I'd tell you to cut your hair," Oz said, continuing to stroke the soft strands, "but I think this suits you. Gil wouldn't be Gil without it."

"Don't," Gil said, so softly that it could have been a auditory hallucination. "Please."

Despite this, he made no move to stop Oz from touching his hair, made no move to push the blond boy out of his lap. His eyes were a light honey color instead of the usual brilliant gold. Oz wondered what Gil was thinking as they simply looked at one another.

All he knew was that Gil's heart thudded in his chest, and his did too.

Gil's lips were slightly parted, tempting Oz.

Would Gil do anything to stop him from meeting them with his own? Oz knew that this wasn't really his Gil, and this Gil had certainly stated as much about him. But the very spirit of Gil was there, wasn't it? This being a parallel dimension wouldn't be able to hold his feelings back or change his mind about his servant. About his master.

Oz cupped his hands around the back of Gil's neck and drew closer to him.

Their noses were nearly touching.

Neither of them blinked; this moment stretched throughout time.

And then...

"I can't do this."

Blood pounded in Oz's ears. "Why?"

"I don't need to explain myself to you," Gil turned away. "Now get off me."

The sudden coldness to his best friend's—his lover's?— tone confused him.

"But, Gil, you wanted to. I know you did."

"You don't know what I want because you don't _know _me. Not anymore."

"I do!" Oz tried to keep his breathing steady. "We're best friends, Gil. I hate to sound like one of those trashy romance novels you suddenly seem to hate, but Gil, I understand you better than I understand myself."

Gil stiff posture seemed to vanish as he covered his face with a gloved hand.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Master?"

"Fine, if that's what you want, I will. If that means we—"

Oz found himself hoisted to his feet and planted on the plush seat where he had originally meant to sit. His shoulder twinged with pain, still not recovered after its acquaintance with Vincent. Gil stood before him, fists clenched, and Oz felt more like a child than he had in a while. He hated feeling so infantile. If he was like this, Gil could never see past their age difference. It was as if Gil had put him in the naughty corner.

"Don't do anything like this again," Gil said. "Don't even mention it. Ever."

"Fine."

Oz found himself slipping into his happy go lucky mode. He knew he would cry, and possibly never stop, otherwise. Why had he wished for this? All he had wanted was to go back to the time where they had been fourteen and fifteen. If he had confessed to Gil then, they could have had some happiness before Oz was sent to the Abyss.

If he ever came in contact with that white haired demon again, he'd kill her.

Even if she looked like Alice.

The Will of the Abyss has ruined the only wish he had.

"Fine?" Gil repeated, caught off-guard. "Well, I'm glad you understand."

Oz shrugged. "I was only fooling around anyway. Sorry."

"I see." Gil went back to his seat. "That's a relief. I thought you were serious."

Those words tore his heart into pieces.

What he had left of it after everything he had been through, anyway.

The carriage swayed to and fro in their silence. Oz felt like he would puke from the rocking motion. He needed to divert his attention from his queasiness and the only thing to do was talk to Gil. Talk to his master. He told himself to call him that from now on. Because that's all they were. Gil had made it clear as crystal. Despite this, Oz refused to let go of calling him Gil in his thoughts. He just couldn't.

"Master Raven?"

"What is it?"

"I'm wondering where we're going."

"Didn't you talk to your sister yesterday?"

"I did, but something came up." Oz played with a frayed strand on his navy blue shirt, trying not to think about what Lotti was doing to her right now. "So I still don't know what's going on with the ball."

"If you had finished the conversation, you would have known that we're going to a costume fitting today."

"Costume fitting?"

"The ball is going to be a masquerade," Gil explained. "It will be more tolerable that way."

"Why are you having a ball if you don't like them?"

"It's Nightray tradition. I wouldn't be doing it otherwise." Gil withdrew a slim cigarette from a box and lit it. "Do you mind?

Oz remembered how he had tried to dissuade Gil from his habit with chocolate cigarettes and smiled. "No, not really."

"Hm." Gil smiled back. "I guess I can live with this new attitude."

The last thing Oz remembered was staring at the glowing ember on the end of Gil's cigarette and finding it strange that something so pretty could be so harmful. The next thing he knew was that something was planted roughly onto his head.

His eyes shot open. All of a sudden, he was very awake.

Gil raised an eyebrow. "Sorry to interrupt your nap."

Oz reached up to his scalp and found that he was wearing a hat. By the conspicuous appearance of Gil's uncovered hair, he realised that he had received a donation. This gesture alone was enough to make him feel better after what had happened after their almost kiss.

"W-what's with that smile?"

"Thanks, Master."

"It's just a hat," Gil huffed. "Don't act so impressed."

Oz managed to pull a neutral expression, but he felt like sunshine radiated from his every pore. All he had to do was make Gil realize they would be good together. The raven haired man already liked him, after all. He wouldn't have lent him his precious hat if that wasn't the case. They had already been together before. Something had changed that, and he would find out what and fix it.

The two of them would have a happy ending.

His nap had only increased his determination even more.

"Have we arrived?" Oz asked. "That was fast."

"Lucky for you that you managed to sleep," Gil said. "I was not entertained."

"Oh?" Oz hopped to his feet. "Master should've woke me up."

"Why would I?"

"I'm pretty good at entertaining people." Oz paused. "I'm sure you know that."

"Yes, well." Gil cleared his throat. "You work hard so you needed some rest."

He looked so adorable saying this that Oz had to resist tackling him onto the floor.

Someone knocked on the carriage door and a very familiar voice boomed:

"Master Raven, what on earth are you two _doing_ in there?"

Oz couldn't help it. He laughed, only laughing harder when Gil glared at him.

His Uncle Oscar always made everything sound full of innuendo.

He had learned from the best. Gil should have put two and two together.

Gil shook Oz by the shoulders and hissed, "You probably don't remember this, but Oscar is pretty obsessed with the idea of us. Well." He sighed. "Being _together_. And the way you behave now will only add fuel to the fire, so don't—Oz? Why are you so pale?"

Oz felt very faint by all the shaking of his injured shoulder.

It seemed there were two Gils standing in front of him.

A giggle broke from his lips.

"If you don't come out in thirty seconds I'm breaking down the door!"

His uncle sounded happy about this.

Oz bent over with the force of his giggles.

Well, if Oscar was a fan of them being lovers, of course he'd want to see the action.

"Calm down," Gil pleaded. "Oz!"

"Kiss me."

The words just tumbled out of him; his brain to vocal chords filter seemed disabled by the flood of endorphins racing through his system. If this is what being drunk felt like, he wanted more of it. Too bad pain and not alcohol was the only way he could achieve this high.

"Ten seconds!"

Gil looked back and forth between the shadowed figure prowling behind curtain covered windows and him. Oz felt himself slowly getting a grip on reality. He looked up, going to tell Gil that he had calmed down, just in time to see Gil's face swoop down to his and peck him on the lips.

It was as if someone had tossed him into an icy lake.

Oz recoiled from the kiss, not knowing why, and hurried to open the door.

Oscar had reached "one!" on his countdown when the door swung open.

He grinned at both of them, rubbing his bearded chin with a thumb and forefinger. Oz didn't want to know how his uncle had gotten involved with the Nightrays. It was all too weird to contemplate. And then there was the small issue of the kiss.

Oscar picked up Oz easily and lifted him to the ground.

"Do you remember me?"

His smile was infectious and Oz couldn't help but grin through his shock.

"Of course. You heard about my amnesia?"

"Everyone's heard, son!" Oscar clapped Oz on the back. "You seem to be holding up."

"I'm still me," Oz said. "Just a little improved, I guess."

His uncle chortled merrily and turned to Gil, who had just stepped out of the carriage.

"That bodes well for you, doesn't it, Master Raven?" Oscar couldn't have been more obvious if he had winked and nudged him. " A new and improved version of your _adorable_, ever faithful little serv—"

Gil waved him away. "No more of that nonsense."

"All right, all right." Oscar frowned in mock disappointment. "Now, you two don't take too long getting your costumes. I'm fully prepared to hunt you down if you get into trouble."

"Oscar!" Gil blurted. "I'm an adult, there's no need to lecture me."

"Yes, but Oz needs some supervision. Raging hormones and all...if he happens to see a pretty girl and runs off after her..."

"That won't happen!" Gil exclaimed.

"Oh?" Oscar purred. "And why not? Do share."

"W-wait, are you thinking about that again? I'm telling you, Oz and I are—"

"Master and servant, I know, I know. Don't get so defensive, Master Raven!"

"_I'm not being defensive_!"

Oz noticed Gil's blush but couldn't remember if he had had those pink cheeks before Oscar had teased him or not. Probably not. The little kiss was just to shut up Oz's laughing, after all. It had worked too. A shiver raced up his spine as he recollected the moment their lips brushed. If something like that made him blush so easily, Oz couldn't imagine what sort of responses their previous life elicited from Gil.

If Eliot's smirk indicated something more than G-rated between them, that is.

* * *

_A/N: I hope you found this chapter satisfactory. It took me a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to churn out. And now I'm probably gonna be taking a break from this for a little while and doing some one-shots. Hopefully they'll give my mind the rest I need after my multi-chaptered stories, haha. Thank you all for your readership! Chocolate to everyone who takes the time out of their busy lives to review. ;)_


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